“The problem isn’t with your body, the problem is what you think of it.”
I don’t really know how to describe this post, where as I have been obsessed in the past with fitness and basically self hating this is not that. I have finally started a new chapter of self love and wanted to document it and as if having a normal and fashion Instagram wasn’t enough I decided to set a third one up! emmas_happy_healthy_world is a celebration of me loving my body! I have literally spent the last 34 years picking myself apart, self hating and punishing my body instead of celebrating and loving it! In the last six months I have gained weight, my body shape has completely changed and my mental health around my body has made an unrecognisable change.
Maybe we have muffin tops to remind us that we are sweet snacks!
As a 34 year old woman who has been every dress size from 8-20 and weighed anywhere between 9 stone and 20 stone I can safely say hand on heart that there is no number whether on scales or as a dress size that will make you happy. At size 8 I cried that I was still too big and at size 20 I cried that I was so big. I have been fit and unfit, I have almost died twice and I have felt adrenaline running through my body as I did things I never imagined I could.
When it comes to being happy with our appearance it really comes from within, from the thoughts we tell ourselves. Now at size 14 and weighing 14 stone I can safely say I am the happiest I have ever been with my body. Sure it’s not toned, my thighs jiggle when there’s too much bass in music, I have cellulite and stretch marks but it’s mine! It holds who I am as a person!
Over the years I have used exercise and diets as a form of punishment rather than a form of fitness or even as fun. After 34 years of being ashamed of how I look I am ready to celebrate my body and enjoy every aspect of it!
Apparently it is all about balance! I wish I could say that I actually drank all the water or that this wasn’t my second doughnut of the day but I can’t. I am still working on the balance thing!
This was the first time in a swimsuit this year and since I’ve gained some weight. Add on top of that I was using a new swimming pool and me 6 months ago would have been petrified! Me now realises I have pretty good boobs and beautiful hair! Also no thigh gap means I won’t lose any snacks! I sported the swim suit as I have taken a real love of aqua fit, I have learnt that exercise can be fun and doesn’t mean that I am punishing myself. I also don’t feel the need to burn off every calorie I have eaten during the day!
What I learnt from last weeks Pilates class:
- I am as flexible as a piece of steel
- There was reason why my mum took cod liver oil, I heard every single joint crack and creek!
- With the right teacher Pilates is a fun class (it would seem in the past I have had some pretty bad teachers)
- My tummy gets in the way of sit ups
- The right half of my body is more flexible then the left!
Last week I got my arse on a bike for the first time in about 20 years, a bike other then a spin bike! So I was away with work last week and the hotel we stayed in had bikes to rent! Still feeling on a high from actually getting myself back in the gym I rented a bike and spent a couple of hours outside riding around! And now I want a bike, I had forgotten how much fun they wer, I rode around with a massive smile on my face, carefree and happy!
So last week I went away for three days with work and it’s save to say my food choices were not the best!! But I didn’t beat myself up over it! I was exhausted in a way that I can not explain and food got me through it! Anyone who works away will get this, there are times when you are not sure when you will get time to stop and eat! You can be on your feet for 12 hours! It’s exhausting!!