HAPPINESS COMES IN DIFFERENT FORMS

HAPPINESS COMES IN DIFFERENT FORMS

I have a very special blog post for you today, my best friend Aimie has written a post about what makes her happy! Happiness comes in all different forms, the route to happiness is rarely easy or clean but it always worth it. 

Looking back to the tender age of 7 when I announced in school after being asked about “what do you want to be when you go up” never did I think I would actually be struggling with my grown up dream… becoming a mum (my response actually was “be a mum like my mummy”).

Back in 2015 I decided to approach the doctors as I knew something wasn’t right. I had always had irregular/erratic periods & struggled with weight loss but once I went on to the pill part of that stopped due to the pills side effects & I didn’t think much about it, leading up to me deciding to see the doctor I had also had laser hair removal (honestly if you can afford it do it… it’s a life changer) & I had fantastic results, I also knew that you would only see hair re-growth if you had a hormonal change. Now some hair annoyingly was starting to grow back plus I was getting new hair in places women defiantly don’t want new hair I knew something wasn’t right (I’m pretty pale however my hair is ridiculously dark so it stands out). I’d read up on these changes & discovered poly-cystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) & I pretty much ticked all the boxes. I went to the doctors, explained everything & he was extremely understanding, bloods & an external & internal scan later it was confirmed I have PCOS.

(https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/polycystic-ovary-syndrome-pcos/ )

We discussed treatments & basically I had a couple choices:

  • Lose weight (easier said than done but doable – PCOS responses well to a low Gi diet, something I discovered after a bit of research)
  • Take drugs – Metformin is commonly used to help treat PCOS as it’s all about insulin & how your body processes things. (https://beta.nhs.uk/medicines/metformin/#about-metformin)

Due to my age I was asked about children / if I had a plan, I explained I’d always wanted to be a mum & was just told “maybe by 30 freeze your eggs as your likely to struggle with PCOS to conceive” having never had any form of pregnancy scare prior to this I didn’t think too much about it. I’d not met “the one” & was still pretty single & after a little research I saw that people did still conceive with PCOS so didn’t really think much about it after that. Metformin also upset my stomach so after a couple of months I decided to stop taking it.

Jump forward a couple years: It was early May17 & I’d started talking to someone, we arranged to meet one evening for a drink both of us working the next day (I’m sure all internet daters are the same so you can escape if you need to, I was actually working at 6am though with Emma to give her the gossip) it got to 2300 & neither of us really wanted the night to finish, however, he walked me to my car, hugged me goodbye & went off to his car.. I promptly followed in my car to have a cheeky stalk & to drive home to my house. At work the following day I informed my bestie (Emma the lovely owner of this blog) if he didn’t text again I’d be “seriously disappointed” & as if my magic I got a text! Things escalated from there as by late August we were picking up the keys to our rented home & moving in during September where we have been ever since.

My partner has known pretty much from day one I have wanted children luckily he does too, but we also knew we needed to wait for the right time…  having been on the pill I knew that meant it could take a while for my body to “level out” (which I have now decided it a complete myth, everyone is different & I know people who have gotten pregnant within a month of stopping birth control) so on valentines 2018 I got the nod, which promptly followed with all birth control being binned & I began to wait for a period to show up (Mr already knows about my PCOS at this stage)

The waiting game, after a couple of months I decided to book in for a check-up & after a couple of blood tests was referred straight away to the hospital. Within a matter of weeks I’d had more tests, gotten a letter to say I could book my referral in & to choose a hospital & seen a dietitian (now having research different diets & tried more or less all of them out there after my appointment I personally felt I have more knowledge than who I saw who at the end of it said “eat less move more”) Still having not really had a period I got to my first appointment at the hospital in July18, it was more of a fact-finding mission with going over my all history & my partners (he was working so couldn’t make this one but has been to every appointment since) I was told about a supplement I could take called Inofolic (https://inofolic.org.uk/) & asked what else I had been taking (which happened to be folic acid, vitamin C & B6 all in the aid of baby making) I was also advised to take Metformin again. I decided just to have the Inofolic for now as I didn’t want to overload on different things (plus the cost, PCOS sadly is one of those conditions which prescriptions aren’t paid for)

In September since my last appointment I’d had more test done when I FINALLY received a period, I’d lost a stone in weight since my last appointment & was feeling really good about myself, then the bombshell news I received really did knock me back. Although scans had shown everything “down there” was working, my bloods currently where showing that I wasn’t ovulating, as I sat there pretty dazed trying to take everything in by time I got home & my parents had been round I sat in the kitchen cried & told my lovely Mr he could leave me if he wanted as it could be difficult for us to have kids. Luckily he told me not to be daft & he wanted children with me regardless of how they arrived. The consultant had explained our journey & we carried on with our holiday whilst I processed the next steps, I was given weight targets to reach 1st one was to receive an ovulation drug called Clomid https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clomifene & the 2nd was the potential of having to go via the IVF route. Basically I had to buckle down & loose around 3 stone if I wanted my dream to come true.

Early November nervously awaiting our next appointment I knew on our home scales I had hit my first target (another stone off however for IVF there’s one more to go minimum!)  I got on the scales in the clinic & it showed I was 2lb short…. After a bit of persuasion the consultant agreed I could have the ovulation drug as long as I assured him I was going to carry on losing weight, which of course I knew I was. Now time for another wait, basically with Clomid you need to wait for the 2nd morning you wake up bleeding, when you start taking it you ring the clinic to plan for scans & you then carry on taking it for 5 days, they start you on a low dose as it increases the chances of a multiple birth (Mr is a twin so this is higher for us as well) also because of this risk from the first day you take Clomid until scan day, all “adult fun” needs to be wrapped… scan day came & went & we had a total of 4 to see what was happening (they internally look to see the lining thickness & follicle growth) & although there was movement & growth it was not quick enough so we were told it was unsuccessful on this occasion.

My period due date for December came & went, even though the clomid hadn’t worked as fast as they wanted there was still a chance of pregnancy, a negative pregnancy test later after waiting 5 days I rang the clinic for the next steps. I was asked to wait until the later in the month to do repeat a pregnancy test & if that was negative id be given a course of norethisterone to induce a bleed so I can start a stronger dose. It got to a couple of days prior to the 16th & hey presto my period decided to show! I took the clomid & waited for my scan date. Success! This dose had been better & I had two eggs close to ovulation size.

This now brings me to today, days away from when I first binned all our birth control. Still a waiting game but we feel we are a step closer to becoming a little family, the drugs are working so now we just need to fall pregnant, it will happen when it happens we are positive but whilst we wait I shall carry on mothering our giant puppy & enjoying all the “adult fun”!

 

 

 

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