“Our capacity to draw happiness from aesthetic objects or material goods, in fact, seems critically dependent on our first satisfying a more important range of emotional or psychological needs, among them the need for understanding, for love, expression and respect.”
So we all know how incredibly passionate I am about happiness and accepting what we have because I can tell you if you woke in a clean bed, had a hot shower this morning before having your breakfast you are already richer than most. Yet we all take that for granted, we take for granted not just hot running water but clean drinking water. Next time you go to complain about not having the best car, job or most expensive holiday booked. Stop because sure that all sounds bloody lovely but if you are already complaining about them they won’t make your life any happier at the very most you will have a short burst of happiness before reverting back to your sad self!
Dr. Glenn Williams, Senior Lecturer in Psychology at Nottingham Trent University said: “An effective route to happiness is not necessarily through experiencing major events that we might have planned out such as getting married, moving house, getting that all-important promotion, or even being on a holiday.”
“Rather it is the small, and often unexpected, pleasures in life that can make us smile each and every day to help us build happier and more meaningful lives for ourselves and for others.”
A lot of my happiness lately has come from the incredible group of friends I have around me. During last year I really pushed myself out of my comfort zone to meet more female friends and cut toxic people from my life, which I have done in the most successful way possible. These incredible women are the reason I am not worried about dying alone or being dead for days without anyone noticing. When my marriage ended five years ago I had no one, in fact, I went for over three months without anyone, friends nor family texting or calling me, that really made me feel alone. 3 months where it felt like no one cared! Now I don’t go more than 3 hours without speaking to someone! Every day I am filled with joy, I have dinner with them regularly, I probably feel the most loved I have ever felt in my life and the most cared about. I am by far not perfect but I really try and make an effort daily with them all because I don’t want to lose any of them through life. So next time you are feeling lonely, look around do you have the right people on your team? If not how can you make changes?
But a special mention to my beautiful best friend Aimee and her boyfriend Mike that didn’t let me spend any time alone over the Christmas period. They know that despite me saying I am ok always when I am not. They are always fully available as a unit when I have a full-on meltdown. They know when I am sad, happy or simply going crazy. They accept me as just me and have fully accepted that their future life involves me living in a granny flat at the end of their garden. They remind me to raise my self-worth and never accept less then I deserve and I can safely say I have never ever heard a single I told you so. Of which I should have done!!
Friends make our lives happier, as anybody will swear by. It has been found that people with a good circle of friends are happier. What research tells us is that while happiness gets us more friends, more friends make us happier too. It works both ways, creating an upward spiral. A spiral of happiness! Psychologists have found that people are happier when they are with other people(as compared to when they are alone), and this holds true for introverts as well as extroverts. They also found that happy people are more sociable. This creates a direct equation between happiness and sociability — being in the company of people makes us feel happier, and again, being happier makes us tend to socialise more.
And you all know how much I love Bumble BFF the only app you will need to make new friends, even if you think this isn’t for you or that you have enough friends already. Give it a go, I promise you won’t be disappointed!!