Once upon a time, in an age before the Internet, the only way to meet people was to leave your house and interact with humanity. I know it’s a scary thought — leaving your sofa, taking off your sweatpants, putting your Netflix binging on pause, and going out to meet people — but that’s just how the world worked. Considering how long the human race existed before the dawn of the Internet and online dating, it seemed to be working for them!
This week I read a news article on a couple that met on Bumble, ten days later they were having their first date which also happened to be their wedding day! That’s right for their first date after ten days of chatting they decided to fly to Vegas and get married! Ladies and gentlemen, I am now 100% done with online dating! Ok I am a happy go lucky kinda gal but WTAF! Online dating was hard enough before, now I have no words and more free space on my home screen where the little Bumble and Tinder icons once lived!
So back to the scary world of having to leave my house and face humanity once more!
Never Skip after work drinks!
Even if you know, for a fact, that you will never date any of your coworkers (which is probably a good thing), you never know who they might ask, from outside the office, to tag along. Those harmless office friends? They might have a cute friend. So if a coworker invites you go to someplace else after Happy Hour, join them. And even if there is no cute friend, well you have more of a chance of actually meeting someone then going straight home to sit in front of the television. Unfortunately the truth is if you want to meet someone then you have to actually meet people, I know it sucks but this is how the world works!
Take Public Transportation To Work
So I spend up to three hours a day commuting, one of my things for the summer is to take more public transport. Because I am sure as hell not going to find someone in my car unless I become an uber driver!! I need more train rides in 2019 so next time I see someone reading a book you love, consider striking up a conversation with them about it. Making eyes at the cutie across from you the whole ride? Consider handing them a piece of paper with your number before you get off the train. Sure, it’s brave — but it’s also a thrill and worst-case scenario they just never call. I actually did this over the summer and it was actually super exciting. He never called but at least he didn’t reject me to my face so win win!
Volunteer Your Time
Volunteering is awesome in more ways than one. For starters, you’re giving back, and secondly, you’re putting yourself in a group of like-minded individuals who, like you, are obviously saints. Consider volunteering for a cause you care about and see who you meet. At the very least, you’ll make friends, so even if all you can offer is a couple of hours a week to volunteer then that is still an incredible thing to do and you never know the love gods may reward you with your forever love.
Don’t Close Yourself Off To Talking With Strangers
Yes, randoms who think it’s OK to talk to you when you’re clearly deep into tweeting something about your coffee can be really annoying, but sometimes when you give strangers the opportunity to talk to you, they can actually be cool. (But you’ve seen hundreds of rom-coms, so you know that. Of course, you need to be safe and should never feel harassed— but sometimes, rape culture has made us believe we’re always in danger when in reality, we might actually sometimes enjoy the thrill of talking to a stranger. Basically not every stranger is an arsehole, I love spending my days off talking to strangers, and let’s be honest we will send half-naked pictures to STRANGERS on the internet but we won’t say good morning to someone in the street.
Also if you are sending half-naked pictures online you need to watch the Netflix serious YOU.
Get A Dog (Or Borrow One To Take For A Walk)
As a person who loves dogs more than humans, I’m not suggesting that dogs are some sort of accessory. What they are are magical, furry gifts that, if you have the time, not only make you a happier person but get you hitting up the dog park. That right there is opening you up to meeting new people. It’s amazing how many times my dog, Hubbell, has been a conversation starter.
Take A Class
Even if you haven’t been in school in years, you can always learn something new. Sign up for cooking class, a pottery class, or finally learn how to scuba dive. Remember how it was so easy to meet people when you were in school? You can do that again.
Agree To A Blind Date
So maybe being set up by your Aunt Edie is going to result in you being bored because Aunt Edie never really understood you. But if a friend wants to set you up on a date, DO IT. Your friends know you well enough to know what type of person will click with you. This is your best case scenario for meeting people in real life, so don’t roll your eyes at it. In fact, I met my ex-husband on a blind date and yes he is my ex now but we did have a lovely marriage and time together, it just didn’t work out.
So goodbye online dating world and hello to be being super awkward around the opposite sex again!