Getting closer to 35 and still single ( insert Bridget Jones reference ) it’s safe to say I have dated every type of man out there, I have even married one of them! I am not sure if I come into ” I’m fussy” or “unwilling to settle for anything that isn’t 100% perfect” category.
Now I’m not saying I’m perfect in fact I’m anything but! But it would seem I fall for a specific type, the arsehole type! You know the type, they used to be a bad boy but somehow managed to sort themselves out enough to get a good job with a suit, thanks to their arrogance and overconfidence. The type that never changes but has learnt enough to charm the birds out of the trees. I am extremely attracted to 2 things, a man in a suit and arrogance so you can see my predicament. And a full ten times out of ten when I think I have broken the cycle and I’m on a date with a different type turns out that the guy is just even better than the others at hiding it. I swear if there is an arsehole within a 100 mile radius I will find him and date him!
Believe me, there is no one better in the world to help you spot the signs that he isn’t the one than me.
1. You are the only one making plans!
Now I know we have equal rights and we should be making some plans, but not all of them! He should be excited about seeing you enough to be suggesting dates, there should still be some kind of chase from him! Dating is still very primal and the truth is if the guy wants you he will make the effort and chase you and let’s face it ringing you to ask if you want to go out for dinner isn’t actually any work it takes 10 seconds and is probably quicker than the time he spends looking for memes to send his friends. If you think you are the one making all the plans, stop and see how long it is before he asks you out.
2. The only time he compliments you is in the bedroom!
I am definitely not saying he had to shower you with a compliments 24/7 ( although that would be nice ) but if the only time he says anything positive about you is in the bedroom then you’re sleeping with an arsehole! Cause he’s going to say nice things to you, you are a naked woman in his bed! But if he doesn’t find you beautiful and amazing with your clothes on he is using you for his needs. So show him how amazing your butt is as you walk away.
3. You haven’t met any of his friends or family!
Granted this can take longer for some people than others. But under no circumstances should you feel like you’re a secret. How many good things that have happened to you have you wanted to keep a secret! If he feels the way he says he feels about you then why isn’t he showing you off? Hell, why isn’t he screaming at anyone that will listen? I once dated a guy who point-blank refused to hold my hands around his hometown and if one of his friends saw him I half expected him to push me under a moving car. If you are important in his life he will want you to meet other important people in his life to.
4. You are faking it!
Sex to me is one of the most important parts of a relationship, if that chemistry isn’t there then you are screwed and not in the good way! Under no circumstances should you be faking it, if he really cares about you then he cares about your needs too, all of them. So if he cums then instantly rolls over to sleep then you again are sleeping with an arsehole. And honestly, do you really want to be faking it for the rest of your life!
5. He doesn’t care about your day!
This comes in many different forms, some just never bother asking, some ask and ignore what you say and my personal favourite is they ask then reply five hours later not that bothered! Why even bother asking in the first bloody place. If a man cares about you he will want to know, he’ll want to make sure you had a good day and will want to be your night in shining armour if you’ve had a bad day.
6. The only future plans he makes is a lads holiday!
Now I’m not saying he has to have your future mapped out, far from it but maybe the next month or even the next date. If you are constantly waiting around for him to make plans then stop waiting, go out and make plans that don’t include him. If he can’t make a plan for the next date then he certainly isn’t thinking about your long-term and is just wasting your time.
7. He returns to the fetal position and starts crying whenever you mention commitment!
The sad truth is men know exactly what they want and if he’s not committing to you it’s because he doesn’t want you! Believe me, this is hard and straight to the point but it’s true. So don’t waste any more time on someone who is just treating you as an option, go out and put that energy into a relationship that deserves you.
And there you have it, seven signs that you’re dating the wrong guy! Although if you are reading this because you think you, then chances are, you are dating the wrong guy and you already know. So don’t waste any more time on him, go out and find someone that truly adore you.