So I am backdating and thanks to my horrendous work schedule, the easiest way for me to meet guys is through the not so charming world of online dating! And despite the occasional unwanted dick pic, it’s not been awful. In fact, it’s been kind of fun or at least interesting! So I thought I would share some dos and don’ts to help you navigate actually going on a date with someone you meet from an app on your phone.
1. Do be honest & open with what you want!
Always be upfront with what you’re looking for, whether that’s someone to spend the rest of your life with or just the night. There is absolutely no point wasting your time or theirs, and certainly don’t think you can change a person’s mind because you just can’t. By being upfront you will cut out at least half the time wasters and will be more likely to connect with someone who you have much more in common with. If you know exactly what you want, why settle for anything less or more than you want.
You will never get what you want if you don’t ask for it……………..
2. Do not give out personal information!
Or pictures that you wouldn’t send your grandma………….
Tell them all about yourself but don’t give them too much information. I only tell them what town I live in but no further information and I never let anyone pick me up from home. I never ever give out my surname or my blog name, since most of us live our lives online it’s so easy to find everything out, about a person. Within an hour you can find everything from their mother’s Facebook profile, how much they paid for their house, take a virtual tour of their house and find a full employment history. Surnames are a massive no no for me.
3. Do have fun!
The whole point of dating is that it’s a fun way to get to know someone, you might not meet the love of your life on tinder or bumble but you might just find the ” perfect six months “, best friend or the most incredible 24 hours of your life. Dating isn’t a job interview, you are not interviewing for a soul mate, it’s a way to get to know someone flaws and all. If you spend dates constantly worrying then you might just miss out on the love of your life. Not to mention that they might just miss theirs if you aren’t being yourself. I use dating as a way to do all the fun things I want to do, but none of my friends are stupid enough to do with me.
4. Do not meet anyone, without letting someone know!
Under no circumstances go on a date with a stranger (which they are, regardless of how many messages they have sent ) without letting someone know. I have a list of four friends which I send all details to, including a picture of the guy and if during the date plans change. Then I excuse myself to go powder my nose and update them on the new plan. No matter what, your safety comes first, I don’t care how hot, funny or charming the guy is, this goes for one night stands too.
5. Do have a backup plan!
On top of letting people know where I am, I always have a backup plan. I always take my credit card with me and keep it separate from my purse so I can always get home. If I don’t feel safe or happy I just leave. Usually, I will avoid drinking on a first date so I can drive myself that way I know I can just leave. Plus I don’t want someone trying to impress me while they are drunk, not to mention I’m not so charming when I’m drunk!
Then there are the no-shows or the last minute cancels, if I got my arse ready and shaved my legs for a date, then you can bet that I’m going out. My friends have been absolutely amazing over the last couple of months and are excited that I’m backdating. I know if I get stood up then there are at least four people in my phone that will be out with me within 20 minutes.
6. Do meet sooner rather than later!
I think we have all had at least one guy who only seems to want to message….. like what the hell are you doing on a dating website……just go to a chat room or get a pen pal. On average I will chat for 7 days before I want talk of an actual date and if there’s not been a date within 14 days I will stop talking and unmatch. I have enough friends I can text for a chat!!!
7. Do give people a chance!
I have been on some first dates that have been absolutely awful but something about them made me agree to a second date. And the second dates have been truly wonderful, sometimes people are just really nervous and unsure what to say. Dating is a little scary, especially if it’s the first date in a while, don’t be cutthroat from the off. You can’t expect every date to be amazing and you certainly can’t compare all dates to a great one you had in the past. Because let’s face it, if it was so amazing why are you still dating?!?!