“The moments of happiness we enjoy take us by surprise. It is not that we seize them, but that they seize us.”
We all know by now that happiness is something I am extremely passionate about. Happiness is one of those rare things that too many people chase when really we all have the ability to be happy right now. Happiness can not be affected by what job you have, how big your house is or what kind of car you drive. Happiness comes from the small things that happen daily in our lives. It comes from the things we tell ourselves every day. We all have the ability to be ridiculously happy regardless of what circumstances we are in. I have suffered through more than most and certainly more than people expect, I have been through every kind of abuse and every horrific ordeal a woman can go through. Never once has my happiness faulted which is something that keeps me moving forward and keeps me wanting to see other people living full happy lives.
I thought I would share some of my tips I have been using for my happy life especially while I have been on my little break and soaking up the little things in life………
Stop waiting for your circumstances to change
So you are in a crappy job or your living situation isn’t exactly perfect, so what!!!!! Guess what no one cares and neither should you, these are just circumstances and not who you are as a person. Think about it, in your lifetime how many times are you going to change jobs, move house or get a new car. All of a sudden it seems like your happiness will be fleeting and very far between bouts. As backwards as it sounds the things you don’t have are actually stopping you from getting them. So you are miserable in your job and it is spilling over into your home life which naturally will lead to a whole host of problems. All this leads to negative feelings which usually stop you finding a new job you might actually love. So if you just stop waiting for your circumstances to change they will actually change for the better. Instead of using all that energy focusing on the negative and the things you don’t have. Use it to think you have a good life and are more lucky then some.
Let go of negativity
“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die” This is one of my favourite quotes and it goes for every situation, not just negativity felt from people. It took me a long time to master this one, it’s so easy to hold on to negativity feelings and even easier to blame others for your own bad situation. You might be thinking that is easier said than done, I’m not saying it’s going to be easy if it was easy than you would not be reading this. You would have looked at the title and thought I am already happy I can skip this post. The truth is you probably have years of behaviour that you need to change. So start small, find a point in your life that you feel is negative and address key points in it. Is it causing you more pain than joy? Do you need it in your life? If you do, is there a way to approach it differently? Like all aspects of happiness it takes lots of small steps so do not go in all guns blazing, go in telling yourself you are strong, you are going to be happy. You can do this.
Enjoy the little things
I am such a firm believer in appreciating the little things in life, imagine your world without a catch up with your mum over a brew. Or cocktails with the girls on a Friday night, imagine if your baby didn’t smile at the sight of you or boyfriend didn’t kiss you on the forehead. It would be pretty awful right? Separately these do not sound like major things but together they make up your life. A serious of everyday small moments make your life, let that sink in. Those little moments should be cherished because life would be pretty crappy without them. So next time you visit your mum for a brew take a cake with you and really listen to her. When out with the girls request your favourite song and dance like it’s your last dance. When your child smiles at you grab them and blow hundreds of raspberries on their belly and when your boyfriend kisses your forehead never be the one that pulls away first.
“Just because you are happy it does not mean that the day is perfect but that you have looked beyond its imperfections.” Bob Marley
Regular self-care is so important if you are constantly exhausted and worn out all the time how can you function properly. You wouldn’t drive round in a battered old car and not expect it to break down once in a while. I’m not talking about visiting a big fancy spa every weekend, maybe you can only spare a couple of hours a week. You may think you don’t have time but when you really think about it cause you do, how many hours a week do you waste watching crappy telly. Instead of watching a film on Friday night whilst constantly checking your social media. Why not turn your phone off and go for a long hot bath.
Tell yourself you are going to be happy today
If you don’t think happy then you simply won’t be happy. If you wake up every morning with a negative outlook how will it ever turn into a positive day? Even if you don’t feel like there is anything to be happy about. Well for starters you woke up, not only did you wake up but you woke up with a roof over your head. They seem like two pretty positive reasons to me to be happy. So instead of worrying about all the things that could go wrong in your day like works going to suck or hoping chatty Cathy isn’t going to be a bitch. Instead just think today is going to be a good day and I am going to take whatever is thrown at me.
Help people who are less fortunate than yourself
I am not saying you need to give all your money away or donate all your free time, I’m saying do what you can. You might know of someone who is going through a hard time so just ask how they are doing or the old man who lives on your street alone, stop by and ask if he needs anything from the shop. Neither of those acts affects your life in the slightest but might just make you feel better. A little gesture to you could mean the absolute world to someone else.