“Through a long and painful process, I’ve learned that happiness is an inside job – not based on anything or anyone in the outer material world. I’ve become a different and better person – not perfect, but still a work in progress.” Alana Stewart
It seems that I am coming to the end of what has been an emotional few months, and certainly a hard few months. It’s the oddest feeling to so happy everyday especially when you are going through something like a break up. I have also been super good at commicating my emotions and letting things go so when something comes up like being dumped it’s really hard for me but at the same time I also know it’s the right thing, even when its killing me. There has been lots of tears and hoping but at the same time who I am as a person hasn’t changed in the slightest, happiness and creating a really happy life has always been my proitory and always will be. With this does comes a weird feeling of guilt, because I still want to be happy and its almost a feeling of not being sad enough, I am a massive believer in the fact that there is something better coming that what has been, which allows me to let go and get excited for a brighter future. But sometimes I do wonder if I should be sadder. Who knows! What I do know is that my life is filled with amazing people and adventures so I am not about to start getting sadder anytime soon.
I don’t think there is anyone in this world that gives me as much happiness as this little lady and it absolutely kills me that I don’t get to spend more time with her. I am trying my hardest to spend as much time as humanly possible with her because she is my little babe! My sister is always sending me videos and pictures so I don’t miss a single day of her life! These are pictures stolen from my sisters Facebook, literally, I don’t even have to be near her to have her put the biggest smile on my face! Oh and today is her birthday, this time 365 days ago I watched her come into the world and I plan on watching her take over the world as she grows. I have a post coming soon with all my favourite pictures of her! Yes, I am that auntie and no I don’t care!
I am such a stop to smell the flowers kind of girl that I also stop when I see beauty in the world. After a day away with work I noticed this beautiful lake on the way back home. I stopped my car and jumped out for a walk around and a cheeky little ice cream. The world is such a beautiful place and my biggest fear is that I won’t get to see nearly enough of it before I die. I spend most of my time just wanting to look at everything, wanting to make sure I have a mental note of it. This lake is a couple of hours drive from my house and surrounded by lots of beautiful villages and scenery, I will definitely be doing as much exploring this summer as humanly possible. When you are looking at something so beautiful its hard to imagine that you have any problems and you certainly realise that in the end none of them really matter.
Hot yoga has changed my life and something I don’t plan on stopping any time soon! Possibly the most relaxing thing I have ever done, the instructor helped too. It was the first time in a very long time that I was actually able to switch my brain off and just listen to what my body needed. I left the class on cloud nine, I would recommend that everyone should try this, the high afterwards was incredible. I have already booked classes to take up regular sessions once I complete my 30 days of fitness!
Sometimes being dumped is a blessing in disguise, since having my heartbroken I have met some absolutely incredible women and made some real lifelong friends. I can’t tell you how blessed I feel and how much fun I am having, once you get into your thirties your friend groups take on a very different form, basically, there are now two camps, friends who are settled down and then the rest. Although your settled down friends are still your friends they just can’t be there all the time and not in a negative way. I couldn’t be happier for these friends and I fully understand that their priories are now different but that still doesn’t mean I don’t still need what I always did. There are still times when I want to go for a cocktail or dinner after work and I know my settled friends can’t just drop their lives because I want to go out so making new friends has been super important to me. I am so happy that I have found the most incredible group of friends, here’s to the future and making even more.