“The best piece of advice someone has ever given me was ‘do it scared.’ And no matter if you’re scared, just go ahead and do it anyway because you might as well do it scared, so it will get done and you will feel so much better if you step out of your comfort zone” Sherri Shepherd
I am sure by now most of you know what I am banging on about, if not you can read about the start of this journey here. For those who do know, welcome back and let me tell you I am now more than halfway through and I am absolutely exhausted in the best possible way, I swear 40 days didn’t seem that long at the start of this! This could have seriously been one of the best things I have ever done, I feel like a totally different woman in the best possible sense! So here we go…….
I have been absolutely blessed with the number of amazing and inspiring women I have met on this journey, as an adult, it seems almost impossible to make new friends without seeming a little needy. When actually it is a million times easier than finding a potential partner and quicker because there is none of the what ifs and certainly no bullshit to try and wade through. There are actually loads of amazing woman for lots of different reasons looking to widen their friendship circles and honestly no matter how many friends you already have, I highly recommend that all woman try the Bumble BFF app because it might actually surprise you. Even if you are just looking for a like-minded friend to go the gym with, someone else to have Friday night drinks with or just someone else to swap bad dating stories with. This app has totally changed my life, last weekend I met a new woman from Manchester on it, we went for coffee and brunch and ended up spending most of the day together. It feels a bit datey at the start but actually within an hour it is more like catching up with an old friend.
When you are in a relationship you kind of end up having a place that suddenly becomes your place. It is a place that you either always go to together, somewhere that holds special memories, sometimes not always good memories but somewhere you couldn’t imagine going in without that person. For me, that was a restaurant near where I lived it was a place where we went to celebrate and where we would go to make up after a fight. It was a place where I’d only ever been with him and it really did hold some amazing memories and since we broke up I hadn’t been able to bring myself to go back to it. It is an hour away from where he lives so there’s never any fear of running into him there, there is literally no reason for him to ever visit again so I felt like maybe I got it in the breakup. And because some of my friends love it I decided I would face the fear of going back in and try and make new memories there. I’m not going to lie it was probably the most emotional thing I’ve ever done on this challenge there were definitely times when I was fighting back tears literally the second I walked in all the memories came flooding back. However wanting to be strong purely for my own inner peace I pulled myself together, well almost and enjoyed an alternative afternoon tea with my friends. And I’m so glad I managed to overcome this hurdle I don’t want everything around me to remind me of him and wanted to be able to make new memories with my friends. And it’s not about forgetting everything about our relationship it’s about being at peace with being broken up and avoiding any her to myself in the future. It was so painful I don’t think I’m in a hurry to go back again but I feel with a bit of time it’ll be ok.
My day has consisted of waking at 5 leaving home at 6 getting to work for 7 leaving work at 6 getting home for 730 and then literally just going to bed, just from the exhaustion of the drive and the long work day. And I realised by following this pattern I wasn’t actually getting any fresh air I was going to my house to my car to work back to my car back to home. Every evening on my way home I would ignore the four signs for four different National Trust sites that sit between my home and work so last week during the sunshine I decided that I would stop at one and go for a little walk. Most National Trust sites have different opening times for a lot of the houses they close at 5 or 6 but the actual Parklands in the spring and summer close at around 8 p.m. Which will give me a full 2 hours in the fresh air I can safely say it was such a lovely thing too, to just actually stretch my legs get some fresh air and kind of decompress the day. It gave me time to think things through and kind of relaxed before going home. I couldn’t have imagined when I’m parked up that the first thing I would run into was dear. there was no one else around it was literally a lovely warm spring night and I’m surrounded by dear I think sometimes you need to be reminded of how beautiful nature is.
Sometimes trying something new is purely just going to a restaurant that you have wanted to try, trying new food or going on a different walk, it doesn’t always have to be a massive thing. For me doing this 40 newthings in 40 days was not about trying to impress anyone else, it was never about doing these big massive things it was about making the small changes that will change my everyday life. This challenge was about personal growth and about creating a fabulous work life balance and getting out of the kind of funk that i have been in. And that included actually going out after work not making as many excuses about being tired, about needing to start the commute home it was about trying to find a way to use the time in the evening more productively. One place I’ve been meaning to try for a while now was five guys so when one of my friends at work suggested going on a little shopping trip and out for tea after work last week I jumped at the chance. Everyone at work has been fully supportive of my 40 new things in 40 days challenge so when I asked if we could go 5 guys she was all over that. Now it turns out that not every new experience is a good one, like for real why does everyone rave about five guys. Other than the fact that is so ridiculously expensive for what it is it really isn’t that great but sticking to the positive I’ve tried it now so I don’t need to try it again but least now I know.