Imagine booking a holiday with the person you thought you would spend your whole life with to celebrate your first year together then breaking up a couple of weeks before the holiday. Devasting, right? Now imagine being on holiday with that person! And that gut turning feeling you just felt, well that’s where I found myself two weeks ago stood at Manchester airport.


Now I’m guessing you are thinking “what the fuck, Emma, what is wrong with you?” For starters, we all know I am an emotional mess who acts before thinks and is lead by my heart than my mouth. There was believe me a lot of soul searching, discussions, fighting, hope, hate, love and stubbornness that went into making the design which meant we would both be in Amsterdam together. And believe me when I tell you that absolutely nothing can prepare you for it. Its safe to say during the five days there were ups, downs, lefts and rights. I experience the full rainbow of emotions and then some!

But enough about the emotional drama that is, in fact, my life. Let’s talk Amsterdam, I was very sure going on this holiday that I was going to spend it alone exploring the city. So the second we checked in, I ditched my bags and headed towards the neon glow. We stayed on Dam Square so our hotel was literally five steps away from the red light district, now I don’t know what I expected, well actually I do, I expected that a city where all things naughty was legal that it would be somewhat classier.


Why does every city, strip club, sex shop and den of ill repute feel the need to use neon signs?! It’s like “we are going to hell, best go big!” Now I am not anti-drugs but weed is not my thing so I didn’t really expect to do any of that and it certainly wasn’t the reason I picked Amsterdam but if that is your thing don’t worry there are plenty of neon signs pointing you in the right direction.


My first night in the red light district did end up with me having the time of my life in some gay clubs after a very lovely older man stopped me to tell me that I was too pretty to look so sad! Already my new Amsterdam beastie as you can imagine. And I’m not sure if it was the smell of a joint or two in the air coupled with every colour of the rainbow flashing before my eyes in neon but I agreed to go with this guy while he showed me the happier said of the Dam. And boy what a night, he introduced me to his American boyfriend and we went to the gay village for a night of dancing. Don’t worry I was good, I just drank coke, these guys were still strangers and I was aware that I didn’t know the area.


Not going to lie despite it being a fabulous first evening in Amsterdam it still left an ache in my heart, it wasn’t the holiday I planned on when I booked it. Nothing could have prepared me for seeing him again, let alone having to go on holiday with him and I am well aware that I could have stayed home but I guess hope is a very powerful emotion.


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