We all know by now that I am an over-sharer of epic proportions. However now and then I do like to keep some stuff to myself, especially when it comes to new partners. We live in a world where a potential date or new love can literally discover your entire life in five clicks and three minutes, give them another 5 minutes and they can discover your whole family tree. What the fuck happened to a little mystery?! I mean do they really have to see pictures of your first girls holiday, back in 1999 when you thought having a red perm was sexy as fuck! HELL NO!
Don’t get me wrong I’m a massive fan of communication, totally for late night chats with a bottle of wine. I am all about disclosing my childhood and what I wanted to be when I grew up. However there should be a few things we keep to ourselves, you know all in the name of mystery.
Anything poo related!
Why do so many people think it’s a sign of closeness when they fart in front of each other or have a poo with the bathroom door open. It’s gross, please stop! For real, why the fuck do people do this?! Would you fart out loud at work? Or take a crap in front of anyone else? no! So why would you want to do it in front of the person you want a relationship with? There is comfortable then there is this! Leave a little mystery, he already knows you do it, he doesn’t need to see, hear or smell it! Unless that is his thing, then no judgment.
Telling him everything you ate!
Seriously unless you are dating a nutritionist, stop it because it is boring as hell. Would you want to hear all about it? On mine and Alex’s first date, I finished his burger after eating my own (I like to think that is the thing that impressed him the most). That old wives tale about men not liking women who only eat salad is 100% true unless you have a goal then he will dig how focused you are. But if you are obsessed with every last thing that goes in your mouth, he will be bored and you will miss out on some incredible dates. He won’t want to hear you go on that there is nothing on the menu you can eat. If you have an actual goal than a man that wants to impress you will cook for you or find somewhere that will cater to you because he will want to help you with your goal. It certainly will not be a reflection of how he feels about your body.
Go into detail about your exes!
If you become serious with this person than exes will come up, and may even help your relationship. Especially if you can both communicate past difficulties and struggles within relationships, you can both be very “I don’t want this to be the case with you”. However, consistently talking about your ex or even worse comparing new guy to old guy will only leave you with no guy! Every relationship is difficult and regardless of how hurt you have been, every relationship deserves a clean slate and an actual chance to surprise you.
Ask too many questions about their ex!
He is no longer dating his ex, he is dating you. Don’t get me wrong I am the worse for wanting to know about exes, but believe me from past experience, you don’t want to know. Let’s face it if there is something bad to know then he’s not going to tell you straight away anyway, so don’t try digging. And definitely, don’t go Facebook stalking because that shit will leave you making up crazy shit in your head. Chances are he had an ex and chances are you have an ex so just expect it and move forward. And if you do have to stalk then Christ don’t double tap!
He should be telling you that you look beautiful every day! He will notice and he will tell you that you look nice, so unless your guy has an actual interest in clothes or asks you about a piece, do you really need him to stand there for five minutes while you talk him through your outfit, NO! Under no circumstances wear something because you think he will like it. Wear something that you love and watch him fall in love with your confidence.
What Sandra in the office did last night!
It’s not that he doesn’t care about your day, it’s just that he doesn’t care about Sandras day! So tell him all about your day because he will be interested in it if he’s not, then he’s not the right guy. Just don’t go into massive detail about everyone else unless they are your beastie because he wants to know about you, not every single person you come into contact with. Instead, impress him with how you handled a difficult meeting, finished a deadline or made a client happy. These are seriously impressive, it shows a new interest that you are independent and not to be messed with and not that all you do is gossip or chat all day.
Every detail about your friend’s relationships!
Unless you are seriously happy for your friend, then talk away. However, if you are doing it to try and gage his feelings on a subject, such as Andy & Claire just got engaged, and you find yourself waiting to see what his body language does at the word engaged. Definitely stop, for starters men do not think the same as woman and you will be miss reading whatever signals he “gives off” As for the rest, they had a fight, you will never believe what Claire told me about Andy, Andy and Claire have had a massive public row, are pregnant or getting divorced. He may comment on this something you don’t like, then you overthink, then you assume something wrong. In general just step away from trying to get information out of your new partner by comparing/talking about other relationships. It won’t work unless your aim was to drive yourself crazy, cause hell, that’s going to happen.