What the hell has happened to effort?!

What the hell has happened to effort?!

So recently I have found myself on a few first dates, which in itself is completely shocking, I have had more first dates in the last four weeks than I have had in the last four years. Since turning 33 at the end of July my confidence has gone through the roof and I feel completely and utterly comfortable in my own skin. Believe me I’m not actively looking for a boyfriend or partner but I do believe dating is helping me move on from the whole mystery chap saga and you never know I might find the reason for that while episode. What I can safely say after the last four weeks of dating is that if I was to add up all the effort that has been made from my dates then it still wouldn’t be enough to impress me enough to look twice. It would seem in a world of online dating it is now the norm, it would seem not to give a fuck! In fact it would seem that actually giving a fuck is uncool.

Yes you met me online, I’m a very busy woman who doesn’t enjoy going to bars in her spare time but no I’m not going to be impressed if you consider any of the following effort……….

  • Unwanted dick pics!
  • Suggesting Netflix N Chill as a first date!
  • Suggesting anything N Chill as a first date!
  • Having a shower!
  • Texting me once a day!
  • Actually starting a conversation with me!
  • Picking me up!
  • Refraining from asking for a blow job!

All of which seem to be the new flowers and dinner of the first date world.

Maybe I have been spoilt in the past, maybe I have read too many Jane Austen novels or maybe I just expect too much but seriously I can not go on any more effortless dates. Don’t get me wrong I really enjoy dating when a effort is made, I enjoy the awful butterflies waiting to see if there is going to be a second date. I actually love doors being opened for me, chairs being moved for me and a guy to show up wearing clean clothes. But it would seem these dates a getting fewer and further between.

Recently I had been talking to a guy on the phone every night for a week, laughing, joking and generally just getting to know each other. Eventually, we both had a free night. He suggested I come to his, drink wine and stay over, to which I explained very politely I couldn’t do that on a first or second date, probably not even the third date ( I’m not saying I wouldn’t do that, but I certainly wouldn’t do that with someone I have not even ever laid eyes on ). He was polite and made an excuse to hang up and within seconds had actually blocked my number. He was actually willing to put that much effort into sleeping with me that he rang every night but the idea of an actual date was too much!

I have also been invited to drive 70 miles to meet a guy because it would just make his life easier if he didn’t need to travel. Needless to say, I blocked his number pretty quickly.

And I realise that all I’m actually doing right now is rambling and that this blog post doesn’t really make much sense but it’s been a rough month, and with a few more dates lined up yet I can’t imagine September being much better. But I am forever hopeful and forever a hopeless romantic, Mr effort is just around the corner waiting with an open door and flowers. Until then I have the absolute joy of being unimpressed and bored, I would probably fall off my unicorn if a guy actually turned up with flowers.

Right enough rambling now I have a date to get ready for!!!


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