I feel like this blog post is something that I shouldn’t be writing its one of those things we all know but no one should ever say out loud, let alone write about for the world to see……
The truth is break-ups hurt like hell, they are extremely painful and really messy, regardless of how things ended. Whether it was your choice or theirs, whether or not you remain friends. It doesn’t matter that it was for the best or that you fought all the time, it doesn’t even matter if you hated each other at the end. The end of any chapter of our lives is an ending, it needs to be felt, you need to go through the process because unfortunately there is no magic formula, there is no way to speed the process up although you can delay it. You just have to go through it until one day you just wake up and you just feel differently.
Now I’m not saying we all fall apart every time a break of happens we don’t always take to our beds for months of mourning, the whole painful process is widely different for everyone and totally different for each break up, the amount of time it takes, the amount you cry, the amount you drink and the amount you sleep. However the chances are you text them when you know you shouldn’t, you will doubt yourself when you absolutely know you shouldn’t! And you will drive yourself and everyone around you crazy, the truth is break-ups hurt, they hurt like hell, you will feel like absolute crap and probably look like shit too. There is nothing in the world that anyone can say to you that will make it stop hurting, the chances are there will only be one person on the whole planet that you want to talk to and out of six billion people, they are the only person you can’t.
Just like falling in love there are no rules to how you should get over a break up, you absolutely shouldn’t be made to feel guilty about how long it takes you. These are your feelings, it’s your heart, so if you want to scream and shout then scream and shout. If you want to spend a week in bed not showering, then do it. Don’t feel stupid for texting them, or going over each tiny detail in your head. Don’t feel like you should be over it because everyone’s telling you, you should be. If you need to spend the weekends out drinking with the girls then do it, if you need to flirt outrageously with everyone within a ten mile radius, then do it ( but stay safe ). Because this is you trying your best to survive, this is you trying to get through the pain, very few of us go into a relationship thinking it’s going to end, if we did what would be the point in ever going into them?! You don’t just lose a partner, you lose a best friend too.
But don’t swear off love just yet, soon enough you will wake up and the pain in your stomach will just be a memory. You will stop reaching for your phone to check if they have messaged you. You will look in the mirror and your face will no longer be puffy from crying, the truth is you are so much stronger than you think you are, you have survived your whole life up until this point. You are beautiful and enough, you deserve a love that never ends. And if you are reading this in the mist of the pain then just hold on, keep going it could take days, weeks or even months. But I promise you, you will eventually wake up and never think about them the same again.
Unfortunately you will never forget, and there will always be places, people and songs that remind you of them! But its different, the pain becomes a memory and you move on and usually in my experience, on to something better because with each breakup you learn a little more about yourself, there is suddenly less that you will put up with, your standards become even higher and you just look for more. So yes break-ups hurt, they are painful and messy but the life you make for yourself afterwards is always much happier, it is full of fun and although it might not look perfect it will definitely feel perfect.