I’m not going to lie, post break up I usually turn into a crazy lady, I change my phone number and avoid all contact after giving out a lot of abuse. As I have gotten older I have turned breaking up into an art form, after all, all the hate you feel in the end only hurts your own happiness. Here are my top 10 things TO DO after a break up……..
1. Wallow // I’m a massive fan of wallowing, wallowing is a big part of the healing process. It’s a time to feel sorry for yourself, binge watch television series, eat a ridiculous amount of chocolate and cry in private. As much as I love to wallow I do set a time limit of one to two weeks, I don’t necessarily feel healed after two weeks but it does stop me bursting into fits of tears in public areas. But any longer then two weeks and you risk the chance of being sucked into your sadness and never reappearing again.
2. Go to the gym // Exercise truly is the medicine, not to mention you will have to burn the wallowing calories off. Plus exercise gives you something to focus on other than what an idiot your ex was for throwing away such a wonderful catch. Imagine how much you could change your body if you focused all that sadness, hate and anger into your gym time, and by the end of your sadness you will not only be feeling human again but you will have a smoking hot body too. Although if the only thing you do at the gym is hit the sauna and/or steam room then at least you will have fabulous skin and a happy glow.
3. Walk until your feet hurt // I’m a massive fan of walking during any emotion turmoil. When walking it gives you time alone to digest your day and work through your thoughts. Not to mention it’s another get form of exercise, sometimes I can walk for nine miles in the evening before I even realise I’m walking. Plus there are very few bad decisions you can make while walking and for extra protection go walking after you have taken your make up off.
4. Treat yourself to some new clothes // Clothes aren’t a permanent change so I’m all about mixing up your wardrobe. In the last week I’ve bought more clothes than I have done in the last two years, I’ve bought clothes that I would never of dreamed of wearing before, I’m now the proud owner of six leather skirts and it has boosted my self confidence a lot, specially when friends and family notice that I look different. And there are always some clothes that your ex never liked so you stopped wearing or you didn’t buy but now you don’t have to worry about silly things like that, now you only have to please yourself.
5. Take/plan a trip // There must be somewhere you have always wanted to go, aboard or in your own country so why not go, but if you are a little stuck on the cash front ( break ups can be as financially difficult as well as emotionally ) you can just plan a trip, spend an evening looking at hotels and the best sights to see. Keep the plans somewhere safe for when you are ready to use them. I have booked to go Amsterdam in July, I didn’t even know I wanted to go, I just booked a flight and figured the rest out afterwards. Thanks to break ups I’ve been to Prague eleven times, Rome, Paris, Benidorm and Florida.
6. Try something new // After each break up ( after the wallowing, naturally ) I write a list of all the things I’ve been wanting to try but have never gotten around to doing. Usually I only end up doing half the list but that’s still pretty amazing, it was thanks to a break up that I went to university and another break up caused me to go traveling around Europe, two things that have absolutely shaped my life and two things I wouldn’t have done if I stayed in relationships. After all you may as well get something good out of such a terrible time.
7. Spend time alone // It’s important not to rush into a new relationship, really important! It’s not fair on you and it’s certainly not fair on someone else. I feel like I’ve been in a relationships since I twelve years old, I’m pretty sure the longest I’ve ever been on my own is ten months which in a lifetime is not long at all. I am planning on spending at least the next two years if not longer alone, I feel that at this point in my life it’s something I need to do for my own sanity. Enjoy your time to be alone and as corny as it sounds to find yourself, rediscover what you love and find new things to love.
8. Have a little flirt // Although you really do need to take some time alone, having a little flirt can be good for your self-esteem. Just a flirt tho, going home with someone or even kissing them will leave you feeling absolutely awful and will probably push your healing time back. But if someone tells you, you are beautiful or tries getting you digits, then it’s going to give you a little burst, just smile say thank you and move on.
9. Go dancing // But don’t drink! Round up the girls and dance, whether that is in a club, festival or even in your kitchen. Dance as if no one is watching you. If you do go out to dance, avoid alcohol or anywhere your ex might be because either way the night won’t end well, even if you think you will be fine running into them, chances are you won’t be. Personally I like putting on the spice girls greatest hits and dancing around my house like I’m in a music video.
10. Most importantly be kind to yourself // The only thing that will truly heal you is time, to which there is no end point. It takes as long as it takes to heal regardless of who ended it. So please be kind to yourself, if you were being yourself during the relationship then there is nothing you could have done differently and spending hours going over everything you ever did in the relationship will be a waste of time and a waste of your energy. So make sure you tell yourself at least one nice thing about yourself every single day and just know you will come out of alive and eventually happy.
And there are my top ten things to do after a break up, so remember you are beautiful and that you are going to be just fine, it’s just going to take time.