You all know by now that I disclose 99% of my life on here, my little piece of the internet is somewhere I feel I can share all aspects of my life. Not always without judgement but that’s never bothered me, I’ve always felt that if only one person could relate then I was happy to share because I wanted emmas happy little world to be all about my life the good, the bad and the ugly. So I thought I would give you a little life update and I feel like I have so much to share with you, writing my blog feels like writing a long letter to a dear old friend.
For the last couple of months I have been taking some serious time to try and figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life ( don’t worry blogging definitely wasn’t something I needed to think about ). Since me and Jamie have broke up I have thrown myself into my job working up to 70 hours a week, which explains the lack of blog posts, sorry about that, but I needed to do it as a way of processing everything that had happened. I have continued going to my weekly counselling sessions which has given me more insight into myself then being myself for the last 32 years. I have spent a long time deciding whether to stay where I am, try and settle down on my own or go traveling for the rest of my life. And I have decided I want it all, I want everything I ever wanted. I most definitely don’t want to feel like I have to choose a path to go down, I want to forge my own path straight down the middle.
And if I thought not knowing was scary, knowing is about ten times worse. I have spent the last year thinking about how wonderful it would be to have my dream career, which naturally is blogging full time. I have been putting off chasing this dream because I convinced myself I wasn’t ready to start, what I have recently discovered is that I will never be ready. There will never be the right time, so last week I just started, although I’m technically no closer to the dream, I’m definitely going in the right direction. Already my life has changed massively for the better, I feel like something inside me has changed and the lovely quote ” your vibe attracts your tribe ” couldn’t be more true. My personal life has propelled 110%, my diary has filled to the point of double booking. I’m even more positive than I was a month ago, which is annoying some people, I was already super positive now I’m like a puppy on acid, excited constantly.
For the first time in my entire life I have treated myself to a new car which has given me the confidence to apply for a much better jobs, which will help me in my blogging full time goal. I honestly can’t tell you how incredibly happy I am right now, Jamie is still very much a part of my life and we are both still very much committed to supporting each other in everything we do. But it would definitely seem that breaking up was the right decision for both of us, for our futures and happiness. When I started 2017 I had no idea this would be how my life would be four months into the year but it is and I’m certainly embracing it and enjoying the journey.
Sometimes your whole life has to full apart to create something better and move beautiful, you just have to believe in the process and most of all you you have to believe that you have the power to do absolutely anything you want.