I some how managed to find myself on a first date a couple of weeks ago, after months of declaring to the world that I was off men forever after yet another break up. I was going to stay single forever because I had given up even pretending to know a single think about men. Women are from Venus, men are from Mars isn’t even close! Woman are goddess and men are toasters, that’s how different we are!
Unfortunately after a bottle of wine too many and me declaring for the tenth time in an hour that I was forever happy being single on a girls night out, I was persuaded to download tinder. The epic combination of too much wine and a night of laughing at dick pics with the girls was far too much of a allure. One hour, six dick pics and maybe a extra couple bottles of wine later, I was having a conversation with a nice guy who didn’t feel the need to surprise me with a picture of his manhood, gentlemen we are rarely impressed by them and 99% of the time we are sharing them in a group whatsapp message. After a week or so of chatting and no unwanted pictures of him I decided to go on a date, plus he didn’t judge me on the amount of cake I eat. And it’s save to say it was hands down the best first date I have ever been on, possibly that anyone has ever been on. If you put all the best moments from your top five romantic comedies together that’s how it went. Now I have absolutely no idea where it’s going to led if anywhere but I’m definitely excited about finding out.
The one aspect that’s shocked me about dating is the “rules” and how utterly ridiculous they are, not only ridiculous but 100% unnecessary. When doing the next day brunch with the same girlfriends that encouraged me to download tinder there was a good three minutes of silence and sideways glances when I disclosed that I text him straight after the date. Which is apparently a no-no, and since our date the number of normal, smart beautiful woman that have asked me for advice on what they should reply to messages and how they should act on a date has slightly disturbed me. Surely by following these ” dating rules ” you are changing yourself and the person they were internally attracted to. How is it even possible to send the wrong reply?!! Can there be a correct response time?!
Not only did I break the not texting straight away rule but I also broke at least a further 8 dating rules during our first date including talking about exes, having kids and the fact at 32 I still think the spice girls are the greatest girl group EVER! And despite all the apparent faux pas’s we have been on a second date.
The simple truth is I was myself, I didn’t filter or calm myself down to impress someone else, because what the hell is the point . Unless you want to spend the rest of your relationship pretending to be someone. So what if you are crazy? Obsess over every single text? Or if you need to put every single thing you eat on a date into your fitness tracker app? Why filter parts of your yourself because someone you don’t really know might judge you! Because I can absolutely guarantee you that if they do judge you for the parts of you that make you, you then they are definitely not for you.
So go on dates, throw the rule book out and be yourself, better than that embrace every little thing that makes you, you! And trust in the fact that your awesomeness will attract the perfect person for you and if your date doesn’t appreciate all the thinks that make you beautiful than you will have some funny stories to share with the girls.
P.S. The second date was just as good as the first!