Fitness // 011

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This week has been an rollercoaster of emotions when it comes to my fitness, by far my worse week yet!! But it’s gave me the opportunity to stop and look at the bigger picture. One thing I wanted when I started my weekly fitness post was to be honest I’m not now nor will I ever be one of those perfect instagram women with the perfect abs who wake up gorgeous and never fall of the clean eating horse straight into a cake, and that’s ok. Those women give me daily inspiration to keep going, they give me recipe and exercise ideas, without them we wouldn’t have avocado toast in our lives. I am the woman who has struggled with her weight all her life, the woman who accidentally eats the whole cake and the woman who now and again misses a gym session. This week I had a straightening treatment put on my hair which meant no exercise for four days ( was super important to keep hair completely moisture free ) for those four days all I thought about was the gym I was devastated but stayed focused went straight back on the fifth day and sweated like a pig. Unfortunately during those four days I ate everything in sight that didn’t move and a couple of things that did.

My diet has been absolutely dreadful and I really struggled to get it back in check but I have with the help of a little challenge that I have set myself of going sugar free for 30 days, it has given me something to focus on while I get back on track. Two of the most important things I have learnt this week is that I love the gym and working on my fitness level and that I still have a fat girl inside of me who doesn’t quite have complete will power.

Glorious, glorious exercise!

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So four days exercise free has almost killed me and although I was itching to return to the gym I found it incredibly hard to get back. And although I’m not back to the level of motivation I was at the week before I am proud of myself for not just giving up. Knowing I didn’t do so well this week has made me slightly more motivated to really push myself next week, I have wrote down my fitness plan going forward for the next eight weeks now I just have to keep pushing.

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Glorious food!

 

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I really did try to eat clean but I had one large piece of cake and before I knew it I was eating anything that had sugar in it. Normally I can easily have one piece of chocolate and walk away for a week and be absolutely satisfied but for four days this week I have been a woman on a mission to eat all the chocolate on the world. Pair this is not being able to work out and you have a pretty bad cocktail for feeling like crap. Every day I started out with good intentions having a healthy balanced meal but by 2pm came round I was in a sugar coma.

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Knowing that this wasn’t going to end well I had a chat with myself on Tuesday and have decided to give up sugar for 30 days in a bid to get back on track. I normally don’t eat a lot of sugar, I have nothing out of packets, I cook everything from scratch my vices are a can of frizzy pop a day and two slices of homemade cake a day, not bad right. But after a scary trip to the dentist the frizzy pop definitely has to stop and after my four day binge I need to quick start brain again. Normally quitting sugar would not bother me but after this week I’m suffering some serious withdrawal symptoms mainly I have had a headache for four days straight and have had a rather bad mood for two days. But I am going to stick at and maybe try baking a sugar free cake. It’s important to me that this is a lifestyle change not a fad diet.

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Goals for next week!

1. Drink more water! Slightly something I struggle with.
2. Stick with being sugar free.
3. Stick to my exercise plan.
4. Run a little further. 
5. DO NOT GIVE UP, YOU HAVE COME TOO FAR!!!!!

Those glorious feelings!

Another point I wanted to talk about this week is mental health and body image, after weeks of friends and family asking me to book a doctors appointment to talk about the way I see myself I have agreed, and have a appointment next month. Now I thought and still do think that it is normal to struggle slightly with large amounts of weight loss and am still not convinced I don’t need a doctor yet but their biggest concern is that I still think I’m fat. When I look in the mirror I still see the size 20 girl looking back, I refuse to wear fitted clothes because I’m worried that people will laugh. There are still times I lie about being busy so I don’t have to go out in public, to me these feelings I have always had and its extremely hard to silence a lifetime of negative thoughts. But I will keep you up dated with what the doctor suggests. Also if you have ever struggled or are struggling and need someone to talk to please feel free to email me emmashappylittleworld@gmail.com I will always email back.

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